Just a Joke, for Me

A vanity CAT scan. 
 
He asks his doctor friend
To apply the enormous
Power
Of her medical degree
To turn the scan
Into a 3D model. 
 
Contracts the model
Out to a 
High end
Print shop.
 
High quality materials.
A slick
Milky white yellow
Finish.
 
Like Hamlet
Could never even dream of
He holds his own skull
In his hand
And asks 
Who the fuck he is.
 
And listens to sad
Shitty
Alt rock music
And leans backwards
In his chair
Into the sickening
Waves 
Of a lost mind. 
 
The skull sits on his
Expensive, 
Dark,
Sharp featured,
Wood desk. 
 
Day to day
More or less
In his right mind
He grazes his fingers 
Over it.
 
Stares into those
Eye sockets.
 
Runs his thumb 
Over the teeth.
 
And presses the
Base of his palm
Firmly, 
Desperately,
Onto the crown. 

*The title, “Just a Joke, for Me,” refers to the occupation of the person who the skull Hamlet holds belonged to, Yorick, the jester.

I think this piece is interesting, and stressful, because can you imagine holding your own skull? To take something so vital to who we are, out of us, without taking it out. To know that you are holding something you are intimately depending on to remain where it is. To look into your own eye sockets without your eyes being in there. To run your hands over the crown like you would run them through you hair. Distressing.

It seems to me like the technology for this is already 100% here. It would probably be a lavish expenditure to have a scan done of your skull for fun so you could have it printed. That said, I know some friends from college who took part in studies that included a scan like this. I wonder if they could have gotten it rendered and printed for free at the ubiquitous university library free 3D printing room.

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